Back at the wait.

November 6, 2009 erinmcgrathwo

So. The PET scan was inconclusive. My stupid biopsy site that never closed, lit up like a christmas tree on the thing. The problem is that the site is infected so infection shows up same as cancer on the scans. SO the doctors don’t know if its still hodgkins or if its just infection. There was also a spot of activity in my chest that wasn’t there before but they again don’t know if that’s due to infection since I’ve had the sniffles, and the shingles, and anything else that has chosen to find its way to my weakened immune system.

bah. so where does this take us? Oh yes.. time for biopsy number 3. They are going back into the site and going to try to take the whole thing out this time and see what it is. I go under on Wed. Nov 11. Results take 2-3 days, so maybe the following Monday we’ll know what’s up.

I am hoping with everything that this is just infection. I mean the damn thing has been draining since AUGUST. MY body certainly is having a hard time healing b/c of the chemo but also being diabetic is a factor in my ability to heal.. so please let’s all hope that its a massive infection we can take care of with antibiotics and time, and not hodgkins.

I need your positive vibes. My spirit is really tired and scared. November makes it 9 months of this battle. 9 months. It seems unreal. Like someone else has taken over former Erin and made her a ball of anxiety and breath holding. I am gearing up to continue the fight, and hoping my sea-legs will hold me.


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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Dorathy  |  November 7, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    Positive vibes abounding.

    In the class I’m teaching, we’ve been talking about what makes someone a hero. The word gets tossed around indiscriminately all the time. Is heroism an action? An attitude? An instinct?

    You are a hero, Erin. You’re Super-Erin. You have this inexcusably awful thing happening to you, but there you are, keeping on, sharing what’s happening, going to law school, for goodness sake.

    Some of us would just curl up under a rock.

    I think about you a lot and lovingly.

  • 2. Emilie Manhart  |  November 13, 2009 at 1:43 am

    praying and sending good vibes to you. much love, friend.

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